Sadly 50 Shades of Grey – which I watched today, in preparation for going to see the sequel 50 Shades Darker – is not just unsexy, but also quite dull. Says he wants to whip me into shape, VERY excited as presume this means he’s going to lend me his personal trainer.” “Cigarettes 0 / Chardonnay 0 / Light beatings 1 / Lip bites 5 / Boob shots 5210. A good day. Saw Daniel last night as he wanted to practice some knots he first learnt in the Scouts. I was hoping this would be Bridget Jones’s Diary if it had been given an American remake, with Jamie Dornan as Daniel Cleaver and Dakota Johnson as Bridget: Five minutes in and the cliches are raining down like special snowflakes at a Donald Trump rally.
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